Down the Rabbit Hole

Last week began with my trip to Ajmer to see the Female Sex Worker (FSW) project which was one of the most dynamic experiences of my life. The first day I was there Pratab, the project manager, gave me a briefing on the project and of the daily schedule of an Indian. A daily schedule goes more or less like this:

5-7am: Exercise/meditation
7-8: Getting ready for the day
8-9: Breakfast
9-5: Working
5-7: Time with boyfriend/girlfriend
8-11: Spending time with family/dinner, go to bed

So, I decided to keep him on his toes, and proceeded to ask about his work-out plan from 5-7. He said he wanted a 6-pack, so I decided I would hold aerobics class for him and two of the other staff members from 6-7, watch the sunrise, and make Pratab into a super-model. The next morning was great! With the backdrop of the mountains, we jogged, did some stretching and many “Meggie-G” inspired exercises. It was quite a sight!

During working hours, the outreach worker, Ashok, and the Peer Educator, Sultana, took me out in the field to see what they do every day. We started off by visiting some of the other peer educator’s homes. Basically, the Peer Educators are either FSWs themselves with strong leadership qualities, or they are social workers with strong connections to the FSW community. Each home I went to immediately offered me a glass of shady water and some kind of snack. Without really a choice, I downed the water to be polite, and I immediately gained their friendship. You know that feeling when you are out in a bar, and someone buys you that shot you know will put you over the edge, and you take it anyways? That was the feeling each and every sip of water…however, I was lucky….not too much nausea…and no hangover.

Anyways, all of the peer educators were so friendly. One of them insisted on giving me a bracelet. It was also very interesting to meet their families and husbands. If the peer educator is an FSW herself, her husband generally has no idea what her other part time job is. After visiting some of the homes, Sultana (who by the way is not an FSW, only an amazing social worker) held a female condom demonstration at one of the other PE’s homes which many FSWs from the community attended. Sultana is one of the most amazing women I have met. She is extremely strong, eloquent and commands the attention of a room. Even more amazing is the fact that I maybe speak 20 words of Hindi, and she speaks about 20 words of English, yet we understood each other perfectly well. The ability to connect and communicate was really exciting. The children of the FSWs were in and out of the home and I got to take some very adorable pictures. One child stuck in my head as he was walking around with an old empty petrol bottle tied around his neck as a makeshift drum and beating it with two sticks.

On our way back to the office, some sort of festival was going on and there was a parade of beautifully dressed women in brightly colored saris and some kind of a drumline. While walking by, the parade stopped and grabbed me to try and dance with them. After some photos and dancing, they continued to try and take me back with them and kept offering me khan (food). Ashok had to grab me by the arm and pull me out of the mob.

Later, we went to another PE’s (who was an FSW) home. She is currently pregnant, but she continues to earn money doing “booking.” She basically rents one of her rooms out to FSWs and books appointments for them. As a matter of fact, while we were there, a business transaction was taking place right then. There, I was also able to gain insight as to how the business works and learn how much the women were making. I was astonished by learning they can make up to 100$ a day which is probably an average shift working at Gelato in the States. I also learned that the women in Ajmer are generally very content on their career choice. Actually, 95% of them go into the business as a choice to make extra money for their family and for themselves while doing part time work at some kind of shop during the day. Only 5% are younger girls forced into it or sold into the business, but in that case, Vatsalya has a crisis management team who rescues the girls. It was here that I gained a very deep understanding about these women. Sultana asked me what I thought about her work, and when she realized I was all for it and just excited that people are unafraid to educate those people about HIV where others are too scared, she began to tear up. Many people look down on the FSWs and think the social work people should only do involves arresting the prostitutes as if getting them locked up would solve the problem. However, in Ajmer, the women tend to have a positive relationship with the police (even though prostitution is illegal in India) and use to police if someone is being violent towards to the women. I feel that if people want to end prostitution, by all means try and do it, but they must know prevention has to occur first, and that means it is not a quick fix by arresting and getting rid of the prostitutes. It involves community development and assuring that jobs are available for the women with adequate income. Additionally, they need to realize that a business cannot exist without customers. Therefore, education to the men, or some kind of moral preaching would have to go to both men and women if they want to end prostitution. Essentially, if people want to successfully end a business, they will need to abide by the laws of supply and demand and the market economy.

That evening, I was invited to one of the PE’s daughter’s birthday party. Her daughter’s name was Anshu, and she was turning nineteen. Sultana lent me a red and gold beautiful sari for the occasion. This experience was definitely one of the most bizarre experiences I have had in my life. I kind of felt like Alice in Wonderland going down t he rabbit hole. Because it was her birthday, Anshu was fasting, which allowed her to devote all of her attention to the guest of honor: me? At one point, she picked up my spoon, filled it with sabji, and I thought she was going to try and feed me, but luckily she just put it in my hand, and said, “Please try!” She then proceeded to turn my plate to make sure I had adequate space to each dish. I now feel like I have always been a very terrible host at all of my parties in the states. The hospitality did not end there. Her uncle brought up cashews and said I was not allowed to give them to anyone else: they were for me only. Her uncle and grandfather then continued to pour me whisky into my glass of Fanta. Later, when her father arrived, I was “adopted” into the family. He told me I now had a new Indian dad and that I was to be Anshu’s older sister. (This is really great, by the way, because if I happen to run out of dads in the states, I can just pick up a flight to India.) Anyways, before anything could become legal, Pratab and Sultana grabbed me and led me away. The whole experience was crazy but very fun!

After a few days in Ajmer, I returned to Jaipur for health camp at the Kavach project. I started out gathering a mob of truckers as I played the usual Snakes and Ladders and handing out prizes. Afterwards, I participated in the Street Play. Street play is one of the ways Kavach engages the truckers in HIV education and tells them about the clinic. Professional actors perform an improve skit with dancing and singing and drums and eventually discuss HIV. My role was Lala, a prostitute who refused business without the use of a condom. I did not have any lines, but I smiled, nodded, danced and clapped pretty well.

After the weekend in Jaipur, I began a very busy week, spending each night in a different place. A new volunteer from Germany, Kerstine, and I headed back to Ajmer for a health camp, and for a tiny bit of sightseeing. Tuesday morning, we visited Pushkar and the Brahman temple. It was very beautiful, except the fact that it was a huge way to scam foreigners. After the tour by a very nice guide, we were directed to a Mantra, a trained person who prays for us, performs a ceremony for us, and then asks for ridiculous amounts of money. To be clear, it is normal to give a donation at the end, no matter who you are. Usually for an Indian, up to a couple hundred rupees is probably appropriate. However, my Mantra first asked me how many people I had in my family. I said about 9-10. He then suggested very calmly and pleasantly that I might step over to the donation area and give 9-10 thousand rupees: enough for each family member to eat dinner. I was like…uuuuh are you kidding me? He told me he understood I am a student, but that I should really care more about my family. After making a comparably meager donation, he told me that the German donated more than me as an American. He was extremely disappointed in me and told me I might not have very good karma. I guess in my next life, I might come back as a squirrel or chipmunk: oh well.

Health camp for the women in the community was a very positive experience and was led by Sultana. It was only about 30% FSWs, but it was mostly geared toward general women’s health. Basically, the women would come in, register, see the doctor, describe the complaint, and obtain a prescription which they picked up at the counselor’s station. There are no physical exams administered, which was very interesting, but the complaints are generally Lower Abdominal Pain (PID) and apparently require a simple prescription. Sultana then talked about condoms again, and we were on our way.

The following day, I went back to Udayan for the identity workshop in the Jeep with Aasma, Parveen and Septiem, the children with whom I live in Jaipur. The Jeep does not have a radio, but who needs it when Aasma and Septiem sing gorgeously in Hindi?

The workshop went really well. The main objective of the exercise was for the children to be able to identify their different identities and take ownership of them. The children and staff began by writing a list of their identities (good and bad) and sharing them in small groups. They then thought of symbols for their identities they want to represent themselves with and made a collage of them. Following, we had a discussion regarding the views society has about some of their identities and how they were different than their own views. For example, one of their identities was being a child, and often adults view children as stupid or liars. To combat that, they must realize they are in control of how they are seen. If they view themselves as beautiful, truthful and intelligent, they can represent themselves that way and therefore be seen that way, or at least be strong enough to disregard negative views from others. After the discussion we sat in a circle, and I asked them to think about any bad events that have happened in their lives that have actually become identities. Sometimes events can have such a strong effect that they can become a part of us and make us doubt our self-worth. I then had them close their eyes and raise their hand if they one. About 4 out of 30 people raised their hands including me while most of them were extremely shy about revealing themselves. After sharing one of my negative identities, the ambience changed and the exercise became really beautiful. I explained that negative identities exist in everyone, but if you own it, and refuse to let it control your life, you can still do anything. We then repeated the exercise. This time 25 of them raised their hands, and we gave ourselves a round of applause. This simple gesture of recognizing their identity allowed them to take the first step in owning it and letting it go, and many of these children have horrific identities that need to be shed.

The workshop went so well, Jaimala decided I would do it right before I left for Delhi with the Upaanjen youth. Unfortunately, we only had 45 minutes so it was very condensed, but the students were really into it! I don’t think these young adults have ever thought about these issues before, so watching their eyes light up when we asked them to share their opinions for the first time was really exciting. From now on, the Upaanjen youth will be giving self presentations on Saturdays as an exercise to overcome the negative messages they are constantly receiving from both family and society. While many were shy and probably nervous, I think after seeing some of their peers shed the negativity and own themselves, they will become inevitably inspired.

During the past week, I was also able to do a little bit of shopping which was fun yet exhausting while I tried to continue being friendly towards the numerous scamming touts trying to lead me astray. Anyways, I settled on a few things: probably not the best quality and probably overpriced, but it was exhausting to just smile at some merchants so I still gave myself a pat on the back. My favorite thing I bought was a pair of 2$ earrings from a 14-15 yr old boy on the street. I paid 100 rupees, but I am well aware they might be worth 10 rupees, 20 tops. Anyways, the boy tried to tell me they were 500 rupees, and after laughing and joking around with him for a little while, his lazy eye and crooked smile tempted me to settling at 100. He then ran after me and gave me ring as a gift that was probably worth about 5 rupees. It was very sweet.

After a bitter sweet farewell party at Udayan, which included sugary sweet ghee treats and the usual wild dance moves, I headed to the identity workshop at Upaanjen, and to Delhi where I began an interesting journey to Thailand. First, I ended up sitting next to a man studying astrology and fortune telling on the bus. We had a very remarkable and interesting conversation. He told me all about the planets and how everything is written the moment you are born according to the way the planets were aligned. He seemed legit, so I put him to the test. 10:32 pm January 25th, 1987 Winfield, Illinois U.S.A….But, just like the birthday wish superstition, I’m not going to spill: that might ruin it.

The bus arrived at my stop at about 10pm, and I was helped by a very sweet man named Hans, who is about the age of my grandfather. He has dual citizenship to India and the US, and was on his way home to Houston where he has a jewelry business. He helped me get an auto and we rode together to the airport. We talked all about my adventures in India, Vatsalya, and the main culprit of all India’s problems: corruption. After sharing his dinner from his family with me and talking for about a half an hour at the airport, we were on our way. I seriously cannot believe my luck sometimes; although I am starting to believe it actually after hearing about how the planets might have a thing or two to do with it.

Anyways, I have now arrived safely in Thailand, and while I began the week with experiences leaving me with the feeling of falling through a tunnel drugged up on shrooms as Alice, I have now fallen out the other side upon the stunning Phang-Nga province, just north of Phuket Island. There is really nothing else to say besides breathtaking. I am volunteering for the NGO, FED (Foundation for Education and Development), previously GHRE. FED works with Burmese migrant workers and their children to advocate for the rights. My volunteer coordinator, Zurine, is really cool and so far I know I can really get used the Thai friendliness. My project plans are not really set in stone yet, but I do know I will be teaching in summer camp to start with. So far, I have really just been soaking up some rays and enjoying the gorgeous surroundings….and the occasional trip to 7/11 for some chewing gum and other necessities.